The Promise

So, I've promised myself that I'll start actually posting more often. Actually, I thought I might do it every day but you know what? let's start with baby steps shall we...

Anyways, Tonight I was reminded of just how lucky I am to have bunny. My husband and I have an amazing little gift that we get to enjoy and in my case 24-7. I really do love my job though! I am a mommy and full time Personal Assistant to an amazing little man.

One of my husbands childhood pals and his wife are just beginning the adoption journey and tonight my husband spent some time coaching him and encouraging him through the process.

I love this part of adoption!!! I love that we have the opportunity to help other people become parents through our personal experience. This is of course how it happened for us, after all.

A chance meeting with someone just like us who made it through and saw that we needed a little nudge to get us through.

I decided after listening to that phone call this evening that I would check out our adoption agencies website of waiting families. I sometimes scan through to see who is left, who is new and hopefully who I can contact to send encouragement and maybe a little help finding their way too. I found a couple that I remembered from our orientation. It took them a while to get up on the website but they are there, hopeful and waiting. I wondered how long they might wait before they are matched with this agency. So, I decided to write to them and offer some resources that were offered to me and to send all my good wishes.

This is addictive really, this need to give back, to help others get through. The happiness I feel because of all that I've been given and all the love that comes over me when I look into those big, dreamy brown eyes. Everyone who wants to be a mommy as much as I did deserves all the help they can get.

Out and about...

So most times while I'm out with the bunny I notice people staring and if I say I thought they all meant well, I would be lying. Most people have been great and just really curious. Today while at Whole foods a woman saw the bunny and I and said to me," bless you" I also ran into a woman that has been curious about the bunny before. She approached me a few months back and asked me if he was my baby. I told her he was and then she asked if he was mixed and of course I then disclosed that I had adopted him. She seemed pleased with that answer and also a little embarrassed to have asked the question. Today she bagged my groceries and just as I was about to leave she asked me some more about bunny's adoption. I guess she remembered us because it was like the conversation was continued from the months past. "So, about adoption, I was wondering if you were able to choose your baby? Did you ask for an ethnic baby specifically?" she then told me that her husband and herself had discussed this very topic this past weekend. I wondered if they wanted to adopt and so they discussed it or if it was about race, ethnicity and people like "us" adopting outside of our race. This woman happens to be black and so talking to her about race and adoption was especially intriguing to me. How does she feel about it? Anyways, I told her that we wanted a baby and we had no racial preference but that the right baby came to us. She smiled sweetly and we said our goodbyes.

Getting into my car and out of the rain, I thought further about that question. I wanted a redo

I wanted to tell her that we were chosen by his biological mother and how it was amazing and wonderful to be chosen and placed with the absolute perfect baby for us. I don't know why I wanted her to know that. I guess I'd just like the myths of adoption, our adoption to be cleared up.

Many people still have the mentality that we are some how "saving" these children of color from their biological families of doom and gloom or that we feel privileged, entitled and better than the mothers who have given birth to our children. I do not feel this way at all and it could not be further from the truth. My bunny's biological mother is so beautiful, loving and generous. She did not have to choose us, she did not have to give her baby up but she did. We love her and no one will ever be allowed to bad mouth the woman who changed our lives forever and allowed us to parent the most beautiful boy in the world.

big tears and fits of rage!

Oh my poor, poor, bunny baby.

Poor baby is going through changes and so is mommy. Please baby, just go to sleep! why pulling of the hair, tugging of the ears and a scream that could break glass, not to mention those big beautiful eyes filling with giant tears that eventually, sadly make their way down is plump little cheeks. I'm pretty much reading everything I can get my hands on to figure out what could be going on and then I called my grandma. Her advise, get that baby some orajel and not that baby stuff! get the real deal and put it on his gums and viola! new baby. Hmmm... I'm skeptical and I'm for sure not about to put full adult orajel on my bunny's precious little gums. Her second bit of grandmotherly advise, a wet rag and by the way, you coddle him to much and he sounds really dependent. This old way of thinking drives me nuts! He is a baby that requires coddling and babying. My grandma, ps. has not yet met the little guy and is going by what I've told her. Is this the impression I'm putting out there. Oh well, whatcha gonna do? She does have a point about the teething and so I suppose it's up to me and bunny's daddy to figure out.

Time for mommy

I suppose I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided I wanted children and don't get me wrong, I have zero regret! I love every moment that I get to spend with my bunny, every second actually. I've just been thinking about the short time that bunny has been here and all the changes that I've already been through. In fact I just put his majesty down moments ago and I can hear him beginning to lose it in his crib. Do I get him or let him soothe himself? and if I run and get him now, will he ever just nap in his crib? AGH!!! my baby. He's a maniac!

half an hour later and I'm back on the blog. I suppose I'm trying to figure it all out still. When do I do this? when do I do that?

blah blah blah...

You know, I'm a new mom, what can I say? I need to learn balance and I will so I'm not terribly worried. I'm venting and wishing for a hot bath and a good book, that's all.

memories and happiness...

My memories, heavy on my mind today. My little bunny is growing and changing so quickly and I'm changing too. I'm thinking about the day I met this little gift and how it felt like it was all some kind of wonderful dream.

Bunny hair and skin woes...

My baby's getting big! My beautiful baby bunny is stronger and stronger everyday and smarter and cuter. His hair is also getting longer and his poor little head has been covered in cradle cap. What to do??? well, I did a little investigation and hit up some other blogs for my answers. "My brown baby" is a particularly helpful blog. So slathering it on, I got to work immediately with a 5 drops of tea tree oil and some extra virgin coconut oil. You know what? it worked! well, sort of.

The flakes started peeling up without damaging bunny's fragile little scalp and hair. So, I followed it up with some sweet almond oil with vitamin e and he patiently endured the steps. This morning when he awoke I noticed a few little flakes had reappeared but I just added more oil to his scalp and it seemed to help. I swear, I'm going to get this under control!

Eczema, he's got it, I don't like it and I'm sure he doesn't either. I'm currently applying pure shea butter 3 times a day. We will see how that goes...

Sitting at home watching the very very sad Hope For Haiti and it's breaking my heart. My bunny is comfortably sleeping in his very cozy nursery while I type this out and I can't help but see him in all the little faces appearing on the television screen. We are so lucky and the thought of children, babies and their families missing, alone and in pain just about kills me. There is something else that it's doing though and that is reminding me to be grateful, to love my bunny and remember that it's always more rewarding to give than to receive even when it feels like we need so much. Really? I mean really, Who needs it more? That's all.