Here are just a few things not to say to adoptive parents because let's face it, if this child was biologically mine, would you feel the need? I think not.
1. Where did you get him?
* Real response: He was born in ________.
* What I want to say and possible snarky responses:
A) From the pound B) Oh this old thing, just something I picked up C) Why, you want one?
D) Hmmm, you're an idiot! and finally, E) When was the last time somebody asked you where your mama got you or better yet, where you got your child? When?!!!
Okay, well sure they might just be naive or insensitive and thoughtless but really, think before you speak! right?
2. When did you get him?
* Real response: He was born in my presence.
What I want to say and other snarky possibilities:
A) I always "GET HIM" B) I just picked him up from the orphanage moments ago. C) Get him? You mean to say when did we become a family. I will also accept as a possible question, When did you adopt?
3. He's so lucky and/or bless you
Real response: We are the lucky ones. I feel like we won the baby lottery!
What I want to say and *****
A) Why is he so lucky? B) Thanks for the blessings, I guess C) We are all pretty lucky to have found each other.
This one always makes me think that there is something else behind what they are actually saying and I don't like it.
Now, I'll tell you why these bother me so much. He is our son, regardless of when he arrived or where he "came from" and honestly there are much better ways to ask these type of questions, not to mention it's none of their business. Did I mention, it's none of their business? because it's not. I know there is a positive side to all of it and we get to experience that too. Adoption is filled with teachable moments and everyday gifts that I wouldn't trade for the world. I can only hope that as time goes by, I can learn to shake it off and handle the bs gracefully.
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